In Search of the Right One


Searching for the right person, or the one you can love for the rest
 of your life can be a long, almost unending search.
 I'm not a phycologist, so all I can share with you is from my experiences in life. The one thing I'm sure of however, is that I never found a best friend by searching for one. All my best friends showed up by accident 
while I was busy going about my life. 

Being patient is usually an understatement. And the desire to have 
that person you dream of can become so great, that it can drive you to
extremes. Loneliness is a hard thing to deal with and not many people 
are made for that kind of single lifestyle. 
The thing to remember is not to let those desires get the best of you. What I found is that it's best to find love where it originates - and that is with God. 
God loves you completely and unconditionally and understands you better than we understand our own selves. In the Bible it says: "For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him, will not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16
The awesome thing is that God's love is real and it can mend your heart and fill you with amazing happiness and peace. It's hard to explain but all I can share with you is that God's love changed my life and turned me from living a life frustrated and depressed by girlfriends, to becoming more of a happy person with a lot more confidence and direction in my life. 
It was because of a life changing experience that I had with God (that I don't mind sharing with you if you ask) that drove me to focus on what I was doing for God instead of what I was doing for my own happiness. And it was in focusing on Gods goals that I found that God turned around and gave me things I always really wanted. There's a verse that explains this: 
"Delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalms 37:4

Anyway, all this to encourage you that God cares about you. He cares about your desires. But He also wants you to trust him and to live a life of meaning and to give your life into his hands. Jesus said it like this: 
"What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world yet forfeit their soul?" Matthew 16:26
I understand that you're tired of living a continued life of loneliness. I understand that you want to have a friend to share your life with in all respects. Except just understand that God also understands what you need. So in conclusion, you have three basic choices: 
1) You can go running after finding someone and get caught up in the search, so much so that you can become increasingly depressed and even more lonely than you need to be as you focus on the negative and what you don't have. 
2) You can "trust" God to help you find someone. (This can turn into basically using God to get what you want if you're not careful ). 
3) You can give your life into Gods hands and focus on a life of real meaning and know that Gods plan includes loving you. You will find that this will end your loneliness and give your life meaning.
 And this doesn't mean that you have to stop "looking". God gave us the desire to have someone to share our life with so having a strategy of being around people is not a bad idea. God does expect us to do our part, after all. Just focusing on God's plans will give you ten times more happiness and fulfillment and place you in a position to meet people who are not looking at you so much because of your body but because of more of who you really are. 
It will also place you in a position to trust God to help you find the right person and this focusing on the positives and everything you have from God, will make you into a much better person (someone that is searching for you will find you much more attractive). 
It will also put you in the position of submission to Gods will in your life. This sounds negative but actually submitting to God who loves you deeply will allow you to find everything God has for you - whatever that may be. And it is in this submission that you find peace in Gods love that is actually greater than any other love you will ever find. 
After all, God knows that if you can't find ultimate happiness and depend on  his love, that you will not be able to find it in human love (which is ten times more fragile and not as dependable). In fact, I found that Gods love has continually been the bond that has kept my wife and I together and nurtured our dedication to love each other these 27 years. And this love from God all begins with just reaching out and thanking God for loving you and forgiving you and making you his child. You can reach out and touch Gods heart right now.
I truly hope this helps you. :) 



For those couples so eager to call it quits and throw in the towel on your relationship because everything isn't 'perfect' is some food for thought: 
"Lifelong commitment is not what most people think it is. It's not waking up every morning to make breakfast and eat together. It's not cuddling in bed until both of you fall asleep. It's not a clean home filled with laughter and love making every day. 
It's someone who steals all the covers and snores, it's slammed doors and a few harsh words at times. 
It's stubbornly disagreeing and giving each other the silent treatment until your hearts heal, and then forgiveness. 
It's coming home to the same person every day that you know loves and cares about you in spite of, and because of, who you are.
It's laughing about the one time you accidentally did something stupid. 
It's about dirty laundry and unmade beds. 
It's about helping each other with the hard work of life. 
It's about swallowing the nagging words instead of saying them out loud. 
It's about eating the easiest meal you can make and sitting down together at a late hour because you both had a crazy day. 
It's when you have an emotional breakdown and your love lays down with you and holds you, and tells you everything is going to be okay. And you believe them. 
It's about still loving someone even though sometimes they make you absolutely insane. 
Loving someone isn't always easy, sometimes it's hard. But, it is amazing and comforting and one of the best things you will ever experience." 
If you are blessed to have a wonderful partner in your life, then share this with someone. 
By Thomas Augustine or anonymous


When you look at what "LOVE" is, here are a few descriptions: "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control...." Galatians 5:22-23.

Have questions? I would love to hear from you too.


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